Parenting by the Book
STUDY 194
Text: Proverbs 18
13 March 2005
Dear Parents,
INCLINATION TO BEING OUTSPOKEN
What are our children like? Let’s talk about the inclination to be outspoken. Let us take time to think through the thoughts suggested in this text.
He who answers a matter before he hears it,
It is folly and shame to him.Proverbs 18:13
1. Speaking before thinking
This seems to be a natural tendency in many children. They tend to give their opinions even though they have not done much thinking. A deeper analysis of the problem reveals the following thoughts:-
a) They are “naturally outspoken”
It is possible that children tend to express themselves without too much thought. They respond as they feel.
b) They are not taught how to respond in other ways
It is also possible that children who are outspoken have not been taught how to consider different approaches. If they are not exposed or taught to deal with questions in other ways, they will continue to be outspoken, sometimes embarrassingly so.
c) They do not understand the concept of “consequences”
Those who speak before they think might well end up feeling “foolish” and “ashamed.” Hindsight is a good teacher. But foresight is a better one!
2. Thinking before speaking
This is the better alternative. However, for this to be possible, parents and other care-givers must play their part well.
a) Modify the outspoken tendency
It is not wise to shut up children completely. That would be a disastrous approach. The wiser way to help children who are outspoken would be to help them modify their approach to solving problems.
b) Teach children how to think before speaking
Thinking before speaking is a skill. It is something that must be learned. Once understood, it must be practised consistently. It will take much time before this art of thinking before speaking can be mastered.
WELL WORTH THE EFFORT
It is worth all the effort to bring up children who think before they speak!
Prayerfully,
Pastor Charlie