God’s Providential Guidance
Hi everyone! I’m Bryan. I’m 22 this year and am currently serving my second year of NS. It is my sincere joy and privilege to be seeking to reaffirm my faith in the Lord Jesus before you today.
Some may come with dramatic conversion stories, but not me. I came to faith gradually over the years with much encouragement and prodding from the various teachers and pastors and friends here in Bethany for whom I am so very grateful.
I was born in 1996, and was baptized as a baby here in Bethany. I grew up learning many lessons from the bible, about Adam and Eve, about Abraham, Isaac, Moses, Paul, and of course, the Lord Jesus. Of course, there were many others, but they remained but stories to me, stories whose veracity didn’t matter a whole lot. I learnt lessons about the fruit of the Spirit, about having faith, about believing, but they never translated into action, and remained head knowledge; I had taken this privilege of being able to know God for granted.
It took many years of false starts and wavering convictions to get to this point. For years I failed, while watching my friends come to faith and be baptised/reaffirmed while I continued to be unsure. Eventually I just became comfortable waiting for something amazing to happen that I just kind of stopped trying. It took many long talks with good friends and for Pastor Mitch to inform me that I could not wait forever that spurred me into some action.
“If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself.”
This is a verse taken from 2 Timothy 2:13 and it means a lot to me. All through my life, I have stumbled, fallen, even willingly walked away from God. Yet, He has always been there for me to run back to when life got scary and tough, and when I really did not think I could not handle things on my own. I want to be identified with this God; one who has sent His only Son to suffer and die for us when we were unworthy and constantly bringing trouble upon ourselves and one who would love and seek to redeem even me.
I have no doubt that God is real, that He is all that the Scriptures say He is, for I have seen Him work in the lives of people. I saw how He was my grandpa’s comfort in his last days, how His grace and His goodness were some of the last few thoughts on his mind in the days leading up to his death. I have seen how He has worked in my life. Even though I refused Him at every turn, and even when I felt like walking away, the Lord was gracious and brought me back to Himself.
Recently, I have begun to read and to do quiet time. At times, it can be a struggle, and I will admit that there are days when I still don’t manage to, but beginning the day with God is such a joy, seeking Him and being still before Him, praying for grace and mercy to see me through yet another day.
God has truly been gracious. Even as I face interesting new challenges each day, He gives strength and wisdom to face them. He has taught me to be patient, to be careful, to be a little more meek and humble, and I look forward (with a little bit of apprehension to be very honest) to many more lessons which He will teach me.
I seek reaffirmation not because I think I am ready – in fact, sometimes doubts come and they tell me that maybe I should wait till Christmas – but that is not important. I have spent the last few years being afraid to seek re-affirmation because I thought I would see some amazing and radical change in my life that would tell me I was ready. I know now that it is not about looking for a sign that I am ready, but about having the faith to see that God has a plan for me and will continue to work in me to change me. I believe God will continue to shape me till I can be fitted into the church as a living stone aligned to Christ. In the meantime, I will continue to seek and to serve and to grow in my faith and in my walk with God, for re-affirmation is not really a goal to be worked towards, but a beginning of a commitment to walk with God.
I am extremely thankful to all the pastors, teachers and friends in Bethany who have patiently taught, guided and pointed me to the truth of the Scriptures. In them was exemplified to me the unconditional love of God, for they persisted even when I was reluctant to move, to change. I don’t claim to understand God’s love, or even understand God‘s ways or God’s grace or God’s goodness but even as I re-affirm my faith today, it is my prayer that the grace and love of God shown to me will not be in vain, that He will continue to work in me and change me, that He may be able to use me for His glory.
Written by Bryan Wong