Young People's Group

CULTIVATING GOOD PRINCIPLES OF FRIENDSHIP

by Pastor Mitch
June 16, 2013

A Special Friendship Between Paul And Philemon

Friendships that are really robust and long-lasting are those that have a strong Biblical foundation. Paul and Philemon remained very good friends even though they were much older. Their bases of friendship were focused on the Lord and on a deep sense of love for each another. In his epistle to Philemon, Paul greeted him as his beloved friend and fellow labourer (Philemon 1). He loved this dear friend very much. Paul also found a great sense of joy and comfort in the love that Philemon had for the saints. There was a special sense of love between these two men that was pure, true and centred on the Lord. Young people, their friendship is a good example of what strong friendship should. Let’s seek to emulate their example.

Good Principles Of Friendship

Paul and Philemon demonstrated good principles of friendship

1. The Principle Of Fairness

“Therefore, though I might be very bold in Christ to command you what is fitting, yet for love’s sake I rather appeal to you – being such as one as Paul, the aged” 
Philemon 8-9

The apostle Paul knew that he had a special bond between him and Philemon. On the one hand, he knew that he had the authority in Christ to command Philemon to do that which is right. And yet, on the other hand, he also knew he should gently appeal to Philemon instead of commanding him. On the basis of Christian love, Paul chose to be fair to Philemon. He did not want to force him in any way. Paul decided to appeal to him instead and to practise the principle of fairness. Let’s also learn to be fair to each other even we seek to cultivate strong Biblical friendship.

2. The Principle Of Having The Same Spirit Of Faith

“I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten while in my chains, who once was unprofitable to you, but now is profitable to you and to me. I am sending him back. You therefore receive him, that is, my own heart”
Philemon 10-12

It was Paul who led Onesimus, Philemon’s slave who ran away, to know the Lord. There was a time when he did not have faith in the Lord Jesus, but now he had come to believe in Him, and now he was most profitable to Paul and would also be to Philemon. Onesimus had now the same spirit of faith as Paul and Philemon. He was now useful to the both of them. On account of this, Paul was asking Philemon to receive him back as if he would receive his heart. Having the same spirit of faith helps us to relate to each other.

3. The Principle Of Consulting With Each Other

“Whom I wished to keep with me, that on your behalf he might minister to me in my chains for the gospel. But without your consent I wanted to do nothing, that your good deed might not be by compulsion, as it were, but voluntary.” 
Philemon 13-14

Paul wanted to keep Onesimus because he had ministered well to him while he was in prison. But he did not take it for granted that Philemon would consent to him being there with Paul. He chose to send Onesimus back to Philemon. There was consultation between these two good friends. Young people, let’s also learn to consult with each other rather than to take things for granted. Let’s learn to check and confer with one another before we do anything with reference to our friendship.

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